We’re leaving our pre-2004 fan mail below for archival purposes, because some of them are pretty cool and we hate to delete anything.

PLEASE NOTE: WE ARE NO LONGER UPDATING THIS FAN MAIL PAGE. IF YOU WISH TO LEAVE A COMMENT, CRITICISM, QUESTION OR RANT, PLEASE VISIT OUR “ASK. MR. PIRRO” PAGE AND LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE THERE.

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I found your website after viewing your film Nudist Colony of the Dead. I was intriuged by it and your methods of low budget production and I applaud your work. I see now that you are embarking on another feauter, JC Conquers the Martians, and wanted to extend my hand in offer to help on this project. I am a fairly experienced CGi artist and animator and would love the opportunity to add a little to this film. Please let me know if there is anything I might be able to offer in helping to get this project produced.

 

David D’Champ

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Hi Just watched Rectuma and had to tell you i have not laughed so much at a film for years. I’m still lauhing now, a half an hour Later Keep up the good work!

Vinson Pike Antisocial-Films.com

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Hi,

I am a Norwegian living in Philippines. I have been movie enthusiast since 1968, I have made a few short film, including prize winners. “Welcome home, Andrew”, won the IAC London Film Festival in 1986 (Best Film, best Actor), where I was writer and director. Last year I won gold i the Eurofilm competition, “I Know U R Just Chuckling!” I read about you many years ago and send chat a little with you thru email. That time I was longing to buy copies of Your films, but it was of no use, because Norway is a PAL-contry.

But now I can!

I could like to be offered a two or three titles in DVD-R/NTSC, and also I like to buy Your book. I prefer the oldest movies, by sentimental reasons (yes, I know eeeverything about Super-8).

Please arrange for me so the film can be sent to Philippines, I will pay with VISA.

In principles, I am a great admirer of You.

If of interest, I am now planning to make a short feature her in Philippines, with Filipino actors, Filipino language and English subtitles. If success, the next will be a Full Feature. The reason is, I am well off at home – which makes me blinding rich here (this is a country where a good day’s salary is 25 dollars).

Best wishes

Sverre (Steve) Arnes

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Hi Mark,

This week I viewed your fantastic film Rectuma.

I loved it and definitely feel it is the best of your marvelous creative abilities. The writing, actors selected and best of all loved the two gals telling the story with their stone face style gave the film a continuity that I really found kept the plot amusing.

So keep up the good work and let’s see another creative adventure in the near future. Am sure it will be entertaining.

 

Mary B

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Hey Mark,

I dont know if you remember me, but my name is Charlie you helped me with my senior project on independent film about 3 years ago. I havent talked to you in forever so I figured I would drop you a line and see how the movie biz is going. I also wanted to let you know Im getting ready to do an internship at Blue Ridge Motion Pictures. Its a local film company here in Asheville, NC. But anyway just wanted to say thanks for helping me get there. And I hope to see a possible sequel to “Polish Vampire in Burbank” soon with you reprising the role as Dupah, that is if you can make him look like less of a skeleton and more like you. Check you later man. Write back when you get a chance, love to hear from you.

 

Pirromount fan for life.

Charlie Wilson

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Dear Pirroumount Pictures,

I moved to Los Angeles and have been wondering what your process is of shooting a reel for actors. I just want to say that I have watch “A Polish Vampire in Burbank” and it was fantastic. I don’t have a reel of my work and I understand that Pirromount Pictures actually works with actors on making reels so I am intersted in your services. I am living on the eastern side of the San Fernando Valley near North Holywood and Van Nuys. My name is Gary Edwins and I look forward to hearing from you.

 

My Best,

 

Gary G.

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Mark Pirro My name is Jerry Williams, and I’ve recently finished my feature film PURVOS which has got Conrad Brooks, and got a nod from Clive Barker. I’m in the ‘what the hell next phase’ and I was wondering if I could get your input. I can send you a screener of PURVOS to you. I’m big fan of your movies…and Conrad had good memories of your film. Jerry Williams goatboyfilms

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Hi Mark,

I visited your website and enjoyed your philosophy on filmmaking, and especially your view on SAG. Best in all your future projects as well. maybe down the road as my budgets grow we will have the chance to work on a project.

Best,

Sid

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Dear Mr. Pirro,

 

Since I have seen some of your films and have thoroughly enjoyed them,…I would like to be part of your crew when you make your next movie. Can you tell me how to get in touch with you about writing format for film ?? I am now living in Los Angeles and would like to be part of Pirromount Pictures and learn from you. I could also use you assistance with writing the script as well. Thank you very much.

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Hi. I’m a former columnist for Screentalk magazine, a writer and aspiring DIY moviemaker. Your website is a great source of inspiration. I notice that you’ve made your latest movies for less than the price of a week in Hawaii (or planefare, for that matter). While researching my own upcoming masterpiece, I came across a bit of a snag — City Filming Permits. So, I’m curious to know how you managed to get around this annoying litte inconvenience and still manage to get your films distributed. Your page on Financial Core is great, by the way. I’m WGA and am strongly considering going financial core. You wouldn’t believe how much non-union work I’ve passed up because of those WGA Nazis.

 

Rob Gregory-Browne The Digital Diving Board

 

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Hi, My name is Carl Lindström, I’m an actor/screenwriter from Sweden. I must say “Nudist Colony of the Dead” is the funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time. Is there a soundtrack album available? The dialogue is priceless “Jesus must love hemorrhoids because he sure got a lot of assholes behind him!” I’m looking forward to seeing more of your movies, and it would be fun working with you one day. If you need any assistance on your upcoming movies, don’t hesitate to ask me. It would be fun to hear from you,

Carl Lindström

 

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Hiya Mark.

 

My name is Roz Tillman, I am a personal manager and I met you some years ago when you did the play version of NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD. I also of course loved the movie and especially the music. I’ve been working with low budget filmmakers these days and I think of you from time to time. I just came across an interesting script I’d like to acquire and produce (a low budget horror movie) and I’d love to speak to you about it to see what advice you might have to me more in the mentoring capacity. I truly admire that you have just gone out and made all your films on your own. Of course, it helps to be multi-talented!

 

What are you are up to these days.

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Subject: Buford’s Beach Bunnies

Hello, I LOVED this movie back in the day and would love to get it. However, it’s incredibly hard to tell apart the rare uncut version from the more distributed version missing about 20 minutes. Do you sell or know somewhere I could buy the uncut version?

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I am a big fan of your films. THANK YOU JESUS and Camellia for introducing me to the greatest blasphemer and butt-tastic movie maker ever. I have written you a fan letter before, begging you to allow Camellia and I in as extras in a film. We will drive down to LA and stay for the weekend (all at our own expense) to get an onscreen appearance in a Pirromount film.

 

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I just wanted you to know, that I really enjoy your films and would like to know more about them. I also wanted you to have my e-mail in case you would like to keep me informed about your upcoming projects. I originally found “Curse of the Queerwolf” at Movies Unlimited.

Larry A. Cole

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Hello Mr. Pirro,

 

My name Is Nadav Levi, and I am chief of programming in the movies dep. of a television company called YES DBS SATELLITE SERVICES 1998 LTD. in Israel. Recently I succeeded the acquisition dept. to license one of your movies – RECTUMA. I’ll start by saying that I’ve tried for a long time to locate the rights to the movies, and now that I’ve seen it’ it was fucking great (pardon my French). I want to introduce to the audience in Israel some modern cult-in-the-making titles, and RECTUMA was the best choice. My problem now, is that I don’t know where to acquire the rest of PIRROMOUNT projects – could you direct me to someone that can help me? I want to see the other movies and maybe introduce them as well…. especially in order to prove that you can make a sweet cult issue packed film with almost no budget….. And I’m saying it after watching :SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW”, the movie that convinced me that all of the money in the world can’t assure a good cult film. only a twisted mind. and that’s what I loved about RECTUMA. So, if you could assist me in this problem I’ll be most grateful, and if not, it’s not a bad thing to know that you have fans even in remote places like Israel…. All the best, and keep the pumping life into the low budget cult industry,

 

Nadav Levi

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II linked to your SAG comments from an article about fi-core on bizparentz.com–loved what you said. I work part-time as an RN and was dragged kicking and screaming into a nurses union I detest. I managed to become a charity payer–and 100% of my coerced dues go to one of Paul Newman’s camp for ill children. Your comments were refreshingly blunt, and insightful.

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Hi,

I have always heard “The Nudist Colony Of The Dead” on the Dr. Demento radio show, and have always wanted to see the movie, are there any plans to ever release it on DVD? Also, was there ever a soundtrack release? I want the song very badly! I wish you could post it on your website, I’m sure there are tons of others who would love to have it also!

Thanks,

Thomas Fenton

 

 

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Hello,

 

Wanted to say what a hug fan I am of “Curse of the Queerwolf”, finally on DVD! I’m a SAG actor in San Diego and would love it if I could send a headshot and resume to be considered for your next feature. Let me know where to send one. Thanks!

 

Jason Horton

 

 

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G’day Mark

 

My Name is Cameron McCulloch I have a copy of your book Ultra Low Budget Movie making, and I was wondering if any of your films will be available in DVD as I’m in australia and getting copys of your films is pretty hard (we have death row gameshow and thats all I could find) I’d like to check out the other films you’ve made as the book was so kick ass.

 

Regards

Cam

 

 

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Hi. I have just been doing a bit of a google search to see if I could find a copy of Death Row Gameshow for sale. I saw the movie years ago on Australian TV and it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Do you have videos (or DVDs) for sale? I would really love to see it again and show all my friends.

 

Thanks for your help.

 

Ross Freiberg.

 

 

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Mark,

 

I have to tell you, you’re a terrific film director. Excellent camera work all around. Hard to believe you did all this for five hundred bucks! Hard to believe you shot this on video. Colors and sharpness was all very good. Black actor in the post office (with rope about his belly) did a nice job; the doc from Japan was good, too. Yeah, I got the joke about the lousy dubbing. It works. Carjacker did a very good job. The one about the terrorist getting blown up inside that ass had me laughing my butt off, etc. Hollywood sign–good visual gag. All the scenes shot at Bronson canyon were vivid, sharp, etc. Reminded me of Ed Wood (in a good way). All the rain scenes were excellent. I guess I like rain in my movies. All looked professional. I could go on: your Pirromount logo is topnotch. Great sound. Real nice job you did yourself as Dr. “Lecter.” Damn near didn’t recognize you. Looked like you did some digital doctoring there (& it works). Editing, as well, is topnotch. Man, you are a director. Your closeups, two-shots, camera placement–works. I’d love to see you do something along the lines of a drama or even horror (& it wouldn’t necessarily have to be splatter–but if you chose to go that route you’d probably do a bangup job). All of these are pluses, but I must tell you, gotta tell you–those hairy butts GROSSED me out & I have had to cover my eyes or else turn my head away whenever a shot was about to appear of one of those damn nasty hairy asses. Too bad they couldn’t have been female asses, voluptuous female asses. But hey, it wouldn’t have been as funny, wouldn’t have worked, right? I look foreward to your next endeavor, Mark. What type of camera did you use & how much do they go for? So help me, most of it did not look like video at all! Credit goes to you and your talented team! I almost forgot: perfect film score by Andrew Gold! Lastly, my take on this is: this is the type of gross out comedy that ought to be seen/shown in a theatre with a full house. Seems like a real crowd pleaser to me. Send a copy to Film Threat!!! Get it reviewed. See if Ebert will take a look at it, etc. EXPOSURE!

 

Kirk

 

 

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Hi! I’m an avid horror film fan, and I greatly enjoyed your A POLISH VAMPIRE IN BURBANK, and CURSE OF THE QUEERWOLF. I have a question, regarding QUEERWOLF, that I hope you can answer for me. I know a guy who insists that 35mm prints of QUEERWOLF were struck for theatrical playdates. All the rest of us find that claim hard to believe, since the film was originally shot on Super 8. Our logic is that blowing up Super 8 to 35mm would render the image quality too poor for theatrical showings, but our friend swears that 35mm prints were made. Can you please settle this matter once & for all– how many 35mm theatrical prints of QUEERWOLF were indeed made up? We say ‘Probably zero’, our friend says there were probably a couple of dozen. I hope you can help us put this matter to rest– this guy is driving us crazy with this debate 🙂 Well, I hope you can help clear this matter up as the authority on the subject. In the meantime, I’ll continue to enjoy QUEERWOLF on home video, where it works just fine for me. 🙂 I look forward to someday seeing NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD and RECTUMA, when it eventually becomes available on video or DVD. Thank you SO much for your time. A big QUEERWOLF fan, Douglas Prosch

 

 

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Just ran across your website and felt like saying thanks for giving inspiration for fellow low/no budget moviemakers. And even showing how even the “lowly” Super8 can be used to good effect. I’m working on my own script, and plan on shooting it this summer on the new Super-Duper8 format. Buying film 10 reels at a time might not work for some major hollywood productions, but it’s turning out fine here.

 

 

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Will Nudist Colony of the Dead ever be released on dvd? I really dig that movie and would add it immediately to my esteemed dvd library.

 

Thanks,

Manning Shaffer

 

 

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When speaking of filmmaking to people, the name “Mark Pirro” comes up so many times and people ask me why he never made any mainstream films with any of the studios. Do you think he will ever do that ? Can you tell me what kind of cameras he uses to make his movies with ? I just got a Chinon super 8 film camera from ebay..and it looks just like the one he used on “A Polish Vampire In Burbank”. Did Mark Pirro ever have the name “Pirromount” trademarked ?? If he did,…can you tell me how someone would go about doing that ? Some people have told me that it is expensive and some people have told me that it is not expensive. Does Mr. Pirro or an associate ever give tours of his studio ? If he does, I’d like to have a tour of his technical world. Would he object to giving a novice filmmaker advice on how to get started ? The film company is very impressive to say the least. If people go their own way after a shooting is finished,..that’s teamwork at it’s finest with loyalty that is hard to find. I admire the people that work with Mr. Pirro as well as Mr. Pirro himself.

 

What I would like to do is send Pirromount Films my headshot and resume for future consideration. Thank you for your time.

 

Sincerely, Gary Greenberg

 

 

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Hi, I stumbled across your site a while back (around the time the DVDs for Polish Vampire and Queerwolf came out; a friend of mine reviewed them at DVDtalk.com), but I’ve yet to see any of your films, mostly because they’re nowhere to be found at the video stores in my town. Actually, I did find a copy of Deathrow Gameshow, but I haven’t had the chance to rent it yet. Anyway, the reason I’m e-mailing you is mostly because of how undoubtably inspiring your site is. Seeing that films can be made for budgets that usually only account for a Hollywood production’s coffee budget always makes me feel good, especially knowing that the film is probably more creative and interesting than anything Hollywood’s put out in years. As of now, I’m a 16 year old amateur filmmaker. My friends and I have done some DV shorts over at http://www.iwcfilms.tk and I organize a film festival for short films twice yearly (more info is at http://www.minicinema.tk) at a coffee house in my town. I also do some unpaid work on Troma’s websites, since they’re my favorite film company and I’d probably be doing fansites for them on my own anyway. As soon as I get my own MiniDV camera (because scheduling around someone else’s camera is a bitch for me), I want to make at least one feature film. Since film is essentially my life, I’d love to have the claim of producing a feature before I turn 18. I’ve been talking with Conrad Brooks (who only lives about 2 hours from me) about appearing in some films. I saw that you’ve used him quite a few times and I was wondering what exactly he was like to work with. I’m not too sure what exactly he’ll be in, since the scripted short I was going to use him really has potential to be revised into feature length and I don’t want to waste it. But if I can schedule a screening/appearance at a local college the same week, he said he’d appear at my film festival, which would be awesome. Anyway, I’m also really interested in seeing how you do your filmlook process. Because I can’t afford the amazing Panasonic camera that shoots in 24fps already, I planned on creating my own filmlook by tweaking the various articles on the subject that have been floating around the ‘net. Well, I’ve gone on a bit too long as of now, so I should probably just stop about now. I’ll probably end up renting Deathrow Gameshow soon and if I ever have money, picking up the Polish Vampire and Curse of the Queerwolf DVDs. —————— ~justin

 

 

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Hello, My name is Art, and I have a Video Store in Whittier and I worked for Universal Studios when Mark worked there and remember all the hype on Curse, Polish Vampire and Death row Game Show, I worked as a Stroller playing Frankenstein, Phantom of the Opera etc… Back in the days of Jimmy Hurt, Patrick Quinn, Stargell, Myles and Jerry Green. I’m not sure if this mail is for you Mark but, back in the mid 80’s when I worked there I remember the hype and remember the films, and just a day or two ago, a new member in my store took me back on memory lane asking about polish… So, I would like to know if you can send me a copy of each for my store, I have spoken with MTI about the DVD, but would rather go with you so you can get the cash directly, let me know at my store address at: adventuresonvideo@yahoo.com I apprecaite all that can be done, also would like to know if you may have some stills you can sign for the store, I am going to make a B movie section and would really want to enhance it with Pirromount Pictures nostalgia. Thanks Art DeSautels Owner Adventures on Video

 

 

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Mark,

I finally got my copy of Polish Vampire in Burbank, and man it almost made me piss my pants. I loved it, and it was the remastered version which made it not look like 8mm at all. I also watched the extras on the disc, including Behind the Fangs. As a whole the DVD has really great extras on it. The T.V. spots I loved especially the first one with you and your collaborator on the talk show. Gilbert Gottfried, man I used to like him, but now he just does stupid sketches on Jay Leno. Your movie was so clever, the way you associated real virginity with a vampire’s first bite. You played the part well, and I think you should act more often. I am sorry to hear about what Eddie Deezen did, but it worked for the better with you in the lead, rather than that fucking dork. What you did with his footage was what I would’ve done, I mean you had it just sitting there so it was worth using it for name value, and plus your impression of Deezen’s voice was spectacular, it sounding just like the little shit. I have never liked him as an actor, I think because he reminds me of those guys back in high school who carried their chess boards around with them, and wore coke bottle glasses. Lori Sutton was good, as was Dupah’s father, and I am very impressed that you did nearly all the voices. For the era you shot your film, it defintely deserves more credit as do you. You basically made your feature in a time when the words independant or no-budget were yet to be coined in the film industry. John MacCafferty made me laugh in the Bond cameo, as well as the scene where you finally get your first bite, and the Rocky theme plays. Your humour is great and my girlfriend loved it also.

 

How did you get the rights to the Rocky theme? Hope Rectuma kicks arse all over the U.S. I think it sounds like it will become a cult favourite.

 

Keep in touch,

 

Daniel.

 

 

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Oh, my, God.

 

We watched Rectuma last night and laughed our asses off. This has to be your best, funniest, highest production value movie you’ve done to date. And, as the theme song suggests, I can’t get the damn theme song out of my head! I was singing that damn thing in my head in the car on my way to work this morning. And it brought a smile to my face. I thought the actress who played the Jodie Foster character was awesome. All of us were just floored by her performance. And we loved your jail cameo as well. Your character almost stole the movie out from under you 🙂

 

The effects were really damn good, too. And the movie “looked” good as well. There were only one or two moments in the movie where I said to myself, “That looks like video.” Aside from that, I was lost in the experience of the movie. The pacing was great, too. I never felt like there was a lull in the movie. And the writing was excellent as well. I thought the dialog exchange with the guy and his doctor when he was telling him how much time he had left to live was priceless. “Did I say two weeks? I meant two days.” And we all got a kick out of seeing our cameo in the movie. The editing was seamless. And seeing us running for our lives from the giant scrotum was hysterical. This movie has the potential to be a total cult classic. Have you talked to Vini over at Elite about it (if you need, I can put a call into him telling him that this movie is a great opportunity for them)? Also, have you sent any screener copies out to any Internet movie sites for review? I think Chris Sharpe at Cinema Eye would review it. Check out www.cinemaeye.com . He reviewed Monsturd and his review also appeared in Hitch Magazine. Might be a way to get some early buzz generated in the movie. Also, Allen, over at B-Independent would most likely review it. When we began our review campaign, we intentionally sent the movie to smaller websites first (to test the water). If these guys beat the shit out of us, then we’d know we have to scale back on sending review copies out to the larger sites. But if they said positive things, then we knew we were on the right track and, ultimately, began sending movies out to the larger and larger sites and magazines. Again, I just want to say that I am really excited for you. Rectuma is an incredibly funny movie that is destined for cult status. Keep me posted on the progress of the movie.

 

-Rick

 

 

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Dear Mark,

 

I received my Rectuma screener today and I have to say that you did a fantastic job. I will admit that, for some reason, I wasn’t really “grabbed” by the movie, but don’t take that as too much of a negative because it will probably take a few watches for it to grow on me, just as did for “Nudist Colony,” “Color Blinded,” and “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” Also, as much as I loved them, I felt that the novelty of the two little girls wore off the more they were used. Part of me was cheering when they got crushed by Scroton.

 

However, these are minor things that did little to hinder my enjoyment of the movie. Overall, I’d say it’s your best since “Polish Vampire,” which will probably always be my personal favorite. In terms of look, it is light years ahead of anything you’ve done before. These are probably the best actors I’ve seen in one of your movies, with the exception of maybe Verda Bridges in “Color-Blinded.” It was a treat to see the talented and beautiful Dani Leon back, and I have to give special props (did I just say props?) to Jean Black. I think she did an excellent impersonation of Jodie Foster and, as someone from a rural southern town, she got the accent down pat. I see great things for her in the future. And the nods to the Japanese Kaiju films: Let’s just say you’ve made a huge Godzilla fan happy. Also, I loved the crazy screener warnings. Hell, I even dug the cheezy special effects.

 

I also must thank you for the postcard, pen, and the footage of the premiere that you tagged the end of the video with. As always, you’ve shown yourself to be a filmmaker who truly cares about his fans. You keep making them and I’ll keep watching them.

 

Pirrophile for Life!!!

 

Damon Brazzell

 

 

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Mark,

 

I am from Australia. Can’t wait for more of your movies to reach Aus. Just a quick question, how did Jim Hanks become involved in Buford’s, and how come you haven’t used him again, because I think he is great, it’s like having Tom Hanks, only cheaper.

 

Daniel Bernardi

 

 

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Hi

 

Will Deathrow Gameshow ever be available on DVD in the United States?I really loved that movie,and I hate seeing it fade away on an old,worn out vhs.

 

Jason

 

 

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Hi Mark,

 

I started a thread on the film on the B-Independent boards “MOVIES” section about Rectuma’s release. I LOVED that doctor in the first 15 minutes, He was so wacky with the texas/southern accent and all, naturally funny. Plus the Jodie Foster impressio, (her name excapes me) dead-on perfect and that is a very memorable part of the film. Though I will always have special place for “Polish Vampire”, since you did things there before anybody else did with a minimal budget. I kind of think Rectuma may provide a simliar example for low-budget “digital” makers. I really do. Though you had some wild and impressive visual effects, you still concentrated mostly on the ACTORS (with needed close-ups, which many digital folks forget) The last 15 minutes FLEW BY very quickly, and there were so many good angles and effects, and it ends the film very strongly. Also, the film NEVER REPEATS a location, it moves from one spot to another, and that makes it move really well. and the MUSIC brings it to a whole other level, just incredible!!

 

Paul

 

 

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Mark,

 

Thanks for the invitation to the premier of Rectuma. What an entertaining evening. First of all the film was excellent. You are quite a filmmaker. Great camera work, direction and effects. Your script was very funny and the story moved along at good pace and liked your casting. ( I am considering nominating your “mind” as a national treasure.) If you wanted some specific feed back do not hesitate to contact me. Have’nt had such a great evening of laughs in a long long time.

 

I am promoting the film ! By the way, I don’t know much about distribution yet, but I can tell you this . Don’t give Rectuma away ! I think it can make a lot of money . It will be interesting to follow your progress with Rectuma

 

A new Fan and fellow humorist

 

Thanks again,

 

Michael

 

 

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Hi, I just rented Deathrow Gameshow this past week and absolutely loved it. I must say, my favorite scene has to be either the David Lynch parody or thepre-end credit sequence. I was extremely surprised that when my brother and his girlfriend watched it, they enjoyed it as much as I did, because my usual taste it movies seems to alienate them a bit. What are the chances of it making it to DVD in the future? I had assumed that Crown went under, but I recently came

 

across their website. It looks like a few of their titles have been licensed by Rhino for DVD release, but were all bare-bones

 

releases. That’s a bit of a shame, because if Deathrow Gameshow did make it to DVD, it’d be nice to see it with some decent extras.

 

~justin

 

 

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Dear Mark Pirro,

 

I have been a fan of your movies for quite a few years. Recently I started helping out the local public access horror movie show, Graveyard Theater, in Hammond Indiana. At a recent meeting I was put in charge of acquiring films. Well, to cut to the point, I’d like to show A Polish Vampire in Burbank. I noticed that you have licensing information on your website, however, our show has a budget of roughly $3 a show. I would like to be able to show A Polish Vampire in Burbank, however, I wouldn’t dare show it without your permission. I hope you’ll grant me that permission, and if not, I will not hold it against you or your films.

 

Hope to hear from you soon.

 

Adam Tembczynski

 

 

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I’m a huge fan of death row gameshow. i loved it. im a 31 year with dreams of being stephen king someday 🙂 i have a few short stories published. my reason for dropping you an email is to tell you i want to do a book based on chuck todens life before the show.

i also wanted to do a mock interview with him in the book telling more stories after he left. let me know if you would like to read the opening pages being your such a master of the low budget..id do this for free with only one request.. i wanna talk to the man….John McCafferty…and do the interview… if thats not possable at least get me a dvd or really good video copy of the movie..ive worn my copy out. if there’s a way to get any money from the sales of the book..maybe you could let me know how we could work something out.

 

thanks

 

Anthony DeLorenzo

 

 

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Hey Mark,

 

My name is Andrew J Crandall. I just picked up “A Polish Vampire in Burbank” and I laughed my butt off. I had heard about it years ago from a book called Persistance of Vision by John Gaspard and Dale Newton. And I was mostly curious on how the Super 8 was going to look. I was impressed, some of the scenes looked really good, others well … I won’t touch it because I know the problems with Super8.

 

Anyways, I was wondering what you were currently working on (If anything after your recent accomplishment). I am a cameraman, actor, director(Basically, whatever I need to be.) I recently moved to CA. I have been working recently with Mindless Entertainment as a PA/Cameraman on their game show “Cram”. I also have my own equipment. I am working on getting a couple of music videos into production, plus also getting a website up and running. But I would love to work with you if you need help. Let me know.

 

Andrew

 

P.S. in about a month my web site will be up at hauntedtree.com. Right now, my designer put up a symbol. Let me know what you think.

 

 

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Pirro,

 

I checked out Queerwolf this week. I was surprised I found it at the local Blockbuster considering they’ve seriously liquidated their stock of horror flicks! I saw Queerwolf as more of a social commentary on homophobia and the taboo of being gay and/or effeminate in the United States, and how most people see being gay or transgendered as something that seeks a cure. I was okay with the doggies getting into mishaps since they weren’t pugs. It was good fun to watch your movie, and I’ll probably get the DVD somewhere down the road. Hey maybe you guys can do a remake of Bloodsucking Freaks, or buy the rights to make Nekromantik part 3?

 

Regards,

 

Dave Yablonsky

 

 

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Deathrow Gameshow is one of my all-time favorite low-budget films. I remember watching it many years ago, and still tell people about it. I can’t ever find it in town (Phoenix area) even at the hard-to-find stores/rental shops. Is ther a way I can buy a copy straight from you?

 

Thanks for such a great movie!

 

-Dennis

 

 

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Dear Mr. Pirro:

 

Years ago, you mythically stuck a hot brand on me that says”Pirromount Fan for Life”: read your how-to book on low budget filmmaking (remember I had just bought the book at Lloyd’s Camera, only to drive literally around the corner, slam on the brakes when I saw “Nudist Colony” play on the theatre marquee, ran in and had you sign the book for me, it was like meeting royalty in those few minutes while you were setting up for rehearsal/performance).

 

Had to get the book after seeing “Polish Vampire,” “Queerwolf,” “Deathrow Gameshow,” and “Mom Was A Werewolf.” To this day, my friend, actor/rapper/comedian Blowfly (his low-budget film is “Daddy’s Den of Thieves,” found at http://www.bunkfilms.com/films/) in Miami never fails to ask about the scene in “Queerwolf” where Lawrence comes home to his wife and finds the house filled with flowers. When Ifirst told him about it, he dropped the phone, hysterically laughing. And when that scene came on, I had to pause the video until I could stop laughing. Without seeing what Lawrence had actually done, I got the gag immediately—the more expensive the flowers, the more “special favors” he did to earn them.

 

And that is your talent, not only as a “teacher” in the filmmaking process,but sharing your special brand of humor that makes us all laugh, a rare gift indeed.

 

No doubt, we’ll all be doubled-over in laughter again with the release of “Rectuma”!

 

All The Best,

 

-Mark-

 

 

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Dear Mr. Pirro:

 

My name is Brian Smith and I am a 24 year-oldscreenwriter. I hadn’t seen “A Polish Vampire inBurbank” in years and decided to dig out an old tape of it I once recorded on USA’s Up All Night with Gilbert Gottfried (don’t laugh).

 

Anyway, I recently showed it to my writing partner Vincent Vinas and he couldn’t get enough of the film. I rediscovered things about it that I had forgotten were truly hysterical. Namely the performances of Steve and Bobbi Dorsch. We wondered about the connection between the two. Married? Related? The cameo by Eddie Deezen was priceless. The Judo for Jesus scene had us laughing for days. And the queerwolf scene had to be run back a few times just so we could hear the dialogue again since we were laughing so loud.

 

Our past screenwriting efforts have placed most notably in the Top 30 of Project Greenlight and as semifinalists in Scriptapalooza. We specialize in the horror and comedy genres and even blended the two on a slasher spoof with a patriotic spin. I once interned for Fangoria magazine and I’m still in contact with the editors. Vincent once interned for Troma Films and has a whole collection of their films on DVD.

 

We both appreciate your brand of offbeat humor and are planning to have “movie nights” with some of our friends from a writer’s group formed on Project Greenlight. Are there any copies available of “A Polish Vampire in Burbank” for sale that you know of? Should I simply try on Ebay? It’s really one of those fun movies that must be shared with a whole new generation.

 

Fer sure. 🙂

 

Sincerely,

 

Brian Smith

 

 

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Hi Mark,

 

I’m a big fan of your films, in particular POLISH VAMPIRE and QUEERWOLF. The legend of POLISH and you’re tremendous success with it,along with Sam Raimi’s S8 short film WITHIN THE WOODS, inspired me to make my own Super 8 feature. The result was a film called Darkness released back in 1993 and recently I’ve been approached about re-releasing it on dvd. I saw that you were about to put out are mastered version of POLISH VAMPIRE on disc and was wondering where you had the new Super 8mm film to tape transfer performed and what transfer process you ended up using. Any info would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for the laughs!

 

BeAst WisheS – Leif Jonker

 

 

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Dear Mark,

 

After reading your newsletter of the month, I felt the need to comment. Maybe it’s because I’m a self-absorbed bastard who loves getting my views heard, or maybe it’s just an attempt to win letter of the month (if you’re still doing that) but anyway…

 

I can see how some people might get offended by your depictions of Juan Too and the Rapping Sherrif. However, and maybe I’m thinking way too hard about this, I think you freed yourself from any accusation of racial stereotyping with the characters of Ms. Luger and “Head Boy” who were by no means stereotypes. Also, Juan’s line of “I’m part Japanese, but I don’t know how to bomb a harbor” seems to be pointing out the fallacies of stereotyping, in addition to being the funniest line in the movie. Plus, it’s not like you got white actors pretending to be black and Japanese. If the actors who played Juan Too and the Sherrif were cool with their characters, who’s to complain?

 

At the same time, part of me feels that you have no reason to defend yourself against the allegations that you are promoting racial stereotypes. People need to get off their moral/intellectual high horses and realize that using sterotypes as a means of humor is damned funny. Hell, I love the way the movie HOUSE PARTY depicts it’s few white characters as racist and ignorant of everything black. Why? Because I know that there are many white people who, in fact, ARE racist and ignorant of everything black. With NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD all you are saying is that people like Juan Too, the Sherrif, the Christians, and the rednecks do exist and their actions are funny. So why not exaggerate reality and make it even funnier?

 

I remember hearing a quote from Mel Brooks that he attributed to Don Rickles that went, “Political correctness is killing comedy.” This was in response to Larry King asking him if he thought it would be possible to get a movie like BLAZING SADDLES made today. It really rings a bell in this day and age. Luckilly, for those of us who could give a shit about political correctness, we have people like Parker and Stone, the Farelley Brothers, Kaufmann and Herz, and of course, Mr. Mark Pirro.

 

Oh, before I go, I happen to like “It’s a Wonderful Life” and I think that Seinfeld is funny. There are some of us out in the world who like mainstream comedy, yet are still, as you so affectionately put it, “clever enough” to appreciate your humor as well. Respecfully yours,

 

Damon Brazzell

 

 

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i think that mark pirro is sooo great. he is a complete genius. i am a huge fan. i want to be in one of his films. how can i go about doing this?

 

~krystajade

 

 

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Hiya

 

I’ve been a Pirro fan since Polish Vampire in Burbank. I still can’t tell the “queerwolf” bit to friends without cracking up, it’s too classic. Anyhoo, there’s a bunch of us online on the Stephen Geoffreys (Fright Night) bulletin board that are dying to see him get back into the spotlight in something legit. (Apparently, he ditched mainstream movies for XXX’s … nobody can figure out his logic, so don’t ask.) I was thinking, since you guys make some of the best cult classic comedy/horror films, and he’s a tremendous comedy/horror actor, maybe there’s a chance he could be offered a part down the road? Nobody knows where he is or how to contact him, but if you’d consider it, we’d all be SOOOOOO grateful!!!

 

Thanks, Lori Bische 🙂

 

 

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Mr. Pirro,

 

My name is Charlie, and i am a big fan of yours. I first saw one of your movies when i was little, it was “A Polish Vampire in Burbank” and I bought it on video a few months ago. My friend Michael and I love it and in fact it’s inspired us to start our own independant film company. So we would just like to say thanks. And I have a few questions regarding “A Polish Vampire”, one are Steve and Bobbi Dorsch married? And, do you talk to anyone the cast anymore? But anyway, I hope your future projects turn out great.

 

Laterz ,

 

Charlie & MichaeL

 

 

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Mr. Pirro,

 

I’m writing to compliment you on your movie, Color Blinded. My girlfriend and I enjoyed it very much. And her enjoying your movie is a big compliment since she is very picky and has no sense of humor. But she thought “Color Blinded” was very funny, especially Tess. I just thought you might like some feedback on your great work. Keep it up.

 

O. Garcia

 

 

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Dear Pirromount,

 

I have been a fan of COTQ for years and would like to give credit where credits due. Almost everyone I have shown the movie to has loved it and wants a copy.

 

My name is Bill Karnes and my e-mail address is dearcub@hotmail.com . I would love to help you let these “Titanic” watchers see that there is more to life than Leonardo DiCaprio.

 

 

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I love Pirro’s films, they have a unique quality I haven’t seen anywhere else. I’d be interested in anything you had to send me either by email, or by real mail. my name is Christopher Koster

 

I was wondering also if Mark Pirro had any pictures he could autograph for me, because I am a really huge fan. Thanks for listening!

 

yours, chris

 

 

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Hey I just wanted to say hi. About three years ago I purchased you filmmaking video, book, Polish Vampire, and Queerwolf. I was just watching your mini movie making video last night. I loved it. Let me know when you have other stuff available. I am in the process of making my own movie now. I currently work full-time as the sys admin for a web publishing company. My personal page is www.itoday.com /david . I will add a link to your home page, now that I see you are online.

 

 

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Hey Mark.

 

What’s up? I saw Polish Vampire in Burbank a couple months ago and I loved it. You’re a freakin’ genius. Seriously, you are the reason I’m still shooting to be a filmmaker. I watched your movie, I saw your webpage and It just gave me a whole new perspective on everything. I’m still trying to find the other films, I find them sooner or later. i bet some of the Stores down here in Hollywood will have them. Anyway, I just wanted to say that your my hero, And thanks for the great movies. You made a lot of people laugh, just like I hope to do so someday. Take care man, and keep up the good work. I gonna take off ’cause I don’t even know if your even gonna see this. I don’t know who reads the emails. You probably get mail like this all the time, I probably sound like a bitch here heh. Just another 20 year old bitch from Glendale. Anyways, I’m outta here man, thanks for the laughs.

 

Smashingly,

 

Vatche “The Badger” Panos

 

 

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Mr Pirro,

 

Thanks for the wonderful films! I have seen Polish Vampire and it was great, but NOBODY around here (OO——-Klahoma) has QueerWolf! I downloaded the clip and it looks like my kind of movie. I love the campy chintz that makes your movies great, and I never knew you had so many til I found your website just by blind luck. Please continue making more great ones….lots of us out here are very appreciative.

 

Dustin Alexander

 

 

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Wow, eBay is great. I recently started looking at their auctions hoping to find a copy of Polish Vampire with no luck so I posted to their Wanted page. Someone replied with your webpage. Imagine my surprise to find that it was only one of many. I rented the movie on a lark about 15 years ago and enjoyed it so much I have tried to find a copy to own ever since. Please help, I am interested in the following:

 

A Polish Vampire in Burbank – DVD Curse Of The Queerwolf – DVD “Pirromount – The Ultra Early Years” – DVD “Nudist Colony of the Dead” – DVD

 

 

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Hello,

 

I just wanted to let you know exactly how much A Polish Vampire and Burbank has actually affected (or perhaps infected) my life. I’m 21 and when I was eight my mother brought this movie home. The incredible woman had the foresight to recognize genius when she saw it. Anyway, from there on I was hooked on film and especially movies of the nature of Vampire (this and starwars of course). Anyway, I have chosen to become a filmmaker and have much respect for the ingenious way you managed to pull of Vampire (of course being a filmmaker I realize the restrictions of having no budget). Keep up the good work, it’s influencing more people than you realize. And the queerwolf is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

 

Thanks again,

 

shane lindsey sweeney

 

 

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Mark,

 

I wanted to drop a line to you to say thanks! You have been an inspiration to me for over 10 years! I dreamed of owning a camera and making movies. I ended up shooting VHS features, but not without pitfalls. I went on to film school and learned a good deal, but not how to get the cash for a feature. In 1990 I lost my butt, but now 9 years later I am back thanks to the internet and DV.

 

It is so good to see that you are still making movies! I watched POLISH VAMPIRE every time (at least several times) it was USA! I started www.thrae.com to help others make and promote movies for little money. Hopefully to avoid some of the pitfalls I ran into so long ago. I will be shooting a DV feature this summer with the goal of keeping it below $500.You are an inspiration! My hat’s off to you and with a standing ovation! Please check my site www.thrae.com and let me know if you like it or not. I will definitely be adding you to the links section when it is finally up. Thanks for your time and keep up the good work!

 

Todd Pontsler THRAE Entertainment

 

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