Directed by Mark Pirro
2003 – 95 minutes DVD
Provided by Pirromount Pictures
Article written by Rev. Spenser Hoyt
If you are familiar with Pirro’s parodies (POLISH VAMPIRE IN BURBANK, CURSE OF THE QUEERWOLF), then you probably have a pretty good idea of the kind of silly humor to expect with RECTUMA, his latest, mostly hilarious, epic. I hate to say it, but cannot resist when I declare that I laughed my ass off while watching RECTUMA. Coming across like a Toho monster bash as conceived and directed by Jack Arnold as channeled through Mel Brooks and the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker movie team, RECTUMA is a clever and inventive spoof that transcends its teeny budget (“less than what most studios spend on catering”) with abundant jokes and funny performances.
Looking like a cross between Gene Wilder and Mark Linn-Baker, Bill Devlin stars as Waldo Williams, a goofy, insecure guy suffering from romance and ass problems. While on vacation with his wife, Waldo is violated by a Mexican Butthumping Bullfrog. Also, unbeknownst to Waldo, not only is his wife having an affair, she’s trying to kill him! But his problems are only beginning, as backside troubles lead him to visit a funny proctologist (played by director Pirro) who refers him to a Japanese doctor named Wansamsaki (ha-ha). Wansamsaki and his assistant (who looks just like Bela Lugosi’s Ygor in SON OF FRANKENSTEIN) begin treating Waldo’s butt with radioactivity. After a post treatment enema mix-up, Waldo’s ass turns green, separates from his master’s rump and goes homicidal. Unaware of his butt’s deviant behavior, Waldo is caught red-handed (or should I say brown-handed) as a trail of his DNA laced poop leads a couple of detectives to arrest our hapless hero.
Detectives Cipolla (Jean Black) and Cosacca (Jim Rainey, one of the film’s producers) haul Waldo downtown since he is the chief suspect in the murder of his wife and her lover. Cipolla has a serious Jodi Foster fixation and Black reveals herself to be quite a funny comedian. I especially enjoyed her reaction shots. Rainey is also quite amusing. Before the two detectives can grab some ass, Rainey is covered in poo and the escaped buttocks leave Waldo a little light in the seat. For some pseudo-scientific reason the bum has grown to enormous size and begins to terrorize the citizens of Los Angeles by sucking them into it’s nasty toothed anus-hole. So what does any large city do when attacked by a giant mutant monster? Ask Tokyo to send their resident monster expert, Toshira (David Chan) to clean up the crap. Toshira enlists the help of a Pakistani suicide bomber named Summa Cum Laden (har-har) to take care of the rampaging tush while more shitty hilarity ensues.
Like MONSTURD, another recent monster parody, RECTUMA applies all the sophomoric scatological humor you’d expect to an above average movie spoof. While MONSTURD was more of a Roger Corman type thing (both films feature showdowns at the legendary cave in Bronson Canyon), much of the delight I had while watching RETUMA had to do with the references to Kaiju Eiga. Throughout the film, two Japanese girls (Hi and Nee…get it?) act like a singing Greek Chorus and sing stuff like “Our story is true and if you don’t believe it, fuck you.” It’s a great spoof of the MOTHRA girls and the music is written by Andrew (GOLDEN GIRLS) Gold! Pirro assembled a fine group of actors and technicians who really know how to make the most of their limited means. Aside from the performances and music, I must mention the special effects. While obviously computer based and fairly simple, Glen A Campbell’s visuals mesh perfectly with the tone of RECTUMA, as they are reminiscent of Terry Gilliam’s animations for the MONTY PYTHON TV show with their goofy details and inventive images.
I may be over praising this film, as I could probably laugh at an hour and a half of funny fart sounds, but it has so much more going for it than simple poop jokes. RECTUMA is another successfully silly indie-comedy classic from Mark Pirro that promises an equally goofy sequel called SCROTON.